it doesnt take one moment more

if theres one thing i would regret if ever your name come across my messed up brain, its when you somehow occupied my longings. its when i start to appreciate this friendship, making the foolish me want you...and i was like caring for you the other way no one would dare.

and you asked me if i like you. i said yes.

i do have a boyfriend. i love him much than i did for you. our love is a celebration of life.

but we are far from each other. somehow, my heart longs for some1 who is always there. whom i always see. ..unfortunately, its not my boyfriend but it was you.

and we talked about this. and i settled my part, i am in sound mind. i know were to put my self. i dont expect from you. i never did assume anything. i simply practice the honesty to oneself. that i must not keep myself from caring for you from afar..

afar thou your so near.

or maybe i guess, i cared too much, i flirted too much, i almost love you.

and as i chose to leave all these behind, i found some place in my heart thats aching. i only wish i have d guts to walk away and forget about what we had..but i just cant..but i i know i have to, and im pushing all my nerve to do dis...and when i do, he wont come after me..

and i guess thats what hurts the most.

i never thought caring and liking for someone be this painful.

i made my choice. i made up my mind. should you act like i dont exist anymore, so be it. that would be better. that would be fine. sahid that would be fine.

anyways, my heart belongs to Amante.