If only...

I miss lee.

Lee is special in my heart. I love him. We made a world only us exist. we both expressed so much intimacy and passion for each other. untill I almost noticed myself wanting for more. For him to be here as so i could have the chance to hold him, to kiss him in person. I miss Lee.

I used to have this blog. I soon noticed that theres this anonymous reader leaving comments on almost every entry. Later i realized, im having entry every entry intented for him, so i could again read what would his comment be, so we can exchange words once again. I miss Lee leaving comments on my blog.thou anonymous, i know its him.

Then I leave him my email add. we exchange emails almost evryday. expressing so much interest for each other, as this turns out that im later falling in love with him. I respect him much. so i give him my identity. atleast my picture so he knows what I look like. I thought that would stop him. I thought he would not like me. but i was wrong. Soon we continue to exchange love for each other, on how special he is on my heart. I miss Lee.

Untill such time that he stop sending letters. i dont know the reason why. maybe he find reasons why. Maybe he got tired of me. or maybe its so wrong to love some pathetic blogger on the other side of the world. maybe, someone else is making him smile..maybe somebodys loving him more than i could. someone who holds him tight, someone who kiss him passionately, someone, a very lucky soul who endure his unconditional love. If only Im dat someone. I miss lee so much.

Then, I meet Amante. we exchange love and life. were having a romantic relationship. untill such time that it no longer bothers me wether i receive an email from lee or not. Me and Amante also have each issues. to no avail, He has nothing to do with the feelings that i have for Lee. Lee is different. I can feel his love, as if its so real. Like everytime i have coffee, its as if the very same coffee that lee would make me each time i get out of bed. that everytime im cold at night alone in my bed, i would have my pillows to warm and comfort my lonely night, then ill think of lee. and im at peace once again, its like ill be waking up in the morning with Lee's arm around my body, that it would be his kiss in the morning that would brighten me up. Its as if its so real,i always stare at his pics before and after shift. I really miss Lee.

Then, last Monday, Nov 24. I receive a letter from Britain. Its a cxard actually. Its from Lee. and a picture of him. His cute gorgeous face, i was shocked. it was the biggest surprise that i have from him. This time, its a personalized card. a poem written for me. It was so sweet of him, im very much flattered i was in tears the night i sleep. i cant let go of what im feeling. I was so overwhelmed.

His card says:

Ernie

Ang pagibig ko sayo ay tunay.

The life that I have
is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours

The love that i have
or the life that I have
is your and yours
and yours

I will always love you

Lee x

Its christmas season again. I can only wish but for me to see him in person, for me to touch him. to feel his skin on my skin, to hug him, to let him know hes the best thing that love could ever offer me..because with him, I beleive in love again.

If only.....