...we just broke up, im up in the club doin my own thing..
10.03.2009 27 °C
I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure, and minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. And they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go find yourself a pretty little girl... and get married.
Brian Kinney - Queer as folks
nung last visit ko sa palawan..natatawa ako sa nangyari. dat was the first wikend of being single..so alone on this sleepless sunday nyt, i opt to visit Palawan to have some gud laugh..and maybe dance my way to recovery ahaha...nasa sulok ako ng 2nd floor, near the dj booth sipping my beer when someone sat beside me as I was laughing out loud with the jokes delivered onstage. Hmmmnnn medyo madilim sa side nya, kumbaga against the light so i had a hard time n usisain ang itsura nya. naka sleeveless shirt sya, jeans and some accesories on his neck and wrist. i swear malikot ang kamay nya, parang may sariling buhay..anyways, ganto un..EDz was his name, according to him..which i care less.
tawa ako ng tawa nung lumapit sya sakin and have my attention..
Edz: hi nakakatawa talaga sila noh?
me: oo. pero aminin mo ung kakornihan ang mas nakakatawa.
Edz: R U alone?
(tingin ako sa kaliwa at kanan ko....)
me: yah Im alone. something wrong?
Edz: nope. its just that when you laugh, you sometimes fake it. How are you doin?
(ay ateh mo, tumaas ang kilay ko..embyerna ang lola mo, hmmmnn teka nga..)
me: Oh really, who are you to say that? and honestly, Id rather be alone..you can leave now!ok?
Edz: ahaha alryt, Ive been watching you from that corner and...
Me: its quite dark here. someone would have a hard time knowing whos here or whats in here.
Edz: but not me..I find you alone, im alone as well, so maybe we can have..
Me: look whoever you are, Id rather be alone. Im sorry but im not interested ...
pagkasabi ko nito ay bigla namang dumaan yung umiikot na liwanag hahaha diko alam tawag nito, ung sa disco light dat roams the floor, yun medyo natapat sya sa mukha namin..ay keri nman pala si kuya. at mabango. haha the fact na medyo accentuated ang english, i have d impression n sa call center sya or somehow may dating..
suddenly, dumilim ang buong place, ung stage lang ang naiwanan ng liwanag kasi may kakantang customer. anlakas ng tunog kaya di kna naririnig ang sinasabi nya..so i move closer to him, my ear an inch away from his lips. as he try to persuade his intention. then i smell his fragrance. heres a sexy, hot smelling guy trying to be friendly but im pushing him away, what the hell am i doing....?
Edz: I said, your beer..maybe you want some more, my treat..
hes all smile kahit sinabihan ko na syang id rather be alone..bka hindi nya ako narinig..sana di nya ako narinig ahaha
i smiled back, raised my bottle to check if may laman pa sya..its almost empty n nga..i finished it. he cleared my lips wid his finger, his stare was teasing me, so much wid his grin and before pa sya nakatawag ng waiter ( which is sometimes hard bcoz of the crowd )..he grab me na and had dis kiss. it wasnt a simple kiss, its a kiss dat almost lasted forever..echus. sarap naman kasi humalik ni kuya mo. good kisser sya..or maybe i was a simple wanderer, alone longing for some comp...yeah haha to justifies this which i dont think is necessary, im there to have fun. Im just doin my thing. Im single, alryt.
so yun na, we really didnt talk dat much after dat kiss...bcoz d kiss continue to dominate us ahaha damn i must admit its really cool. so when was the last time i flirted and get this shot..oh Im having my night.
until we noticed that some are watching us..eerrr public exhibitionist? so i humbly asked him to stop..hes kinda obedient ahaha again we talked.
Edz: im edz wid a Z..whats your name?
me: im ernie. how are you Edzzzz? why are you alone at 2am sunday hre in Palawan?
Edz: well, maybe we have the same reason why. i should say you kiss like a pro?
me: ahaha what? like a porn star kissing..? like this...?
ahaha nkakatuwa kasi parang lasing na rin yata ako,.and im simply submitting to his game..however, it turns out im d master hes a follower. .....the drag queens are now performing onstage..theyr hilarious
Edz: can I have your no.?
me: what for?
Edz: you dont want me to have your no.?
ewan pero uminit ang ulo ko for no apparent reason at all..or is it the beer ahaha
me: why would you have my no.? ill know for sure tomorrow,or a couple of hours from now..you wont care who youve suck at this corner of this club..because Edzzzz its just fuck were looking for..nothing more nothing less..just FUCK!!!
Edz: you caught me offguard!
naloka sya sa sinabi ko..its too obvious di yun expected..pati ako nabigla kaya alam n alam ko pa din word for word ang litanya ng lola mo.
me: really? look..i just have a break up with my partner a couple of days ago..and hre I am kissing a complete stranger..and hey, im having fun..thanks to you Edz or whoever you are...now..kiss me!!!
i swear naluha ako when i said dos words. medyo lasing nko talaga. amdami na rin sya naorder na beer. Im doing him a favor, or so i thought.
Edz: Im going to the restroom. ill be back, but i dont expect you to be here when i return. But if you are..Ill be very glad.
he kissed me again before he left. its like asking me to wait for his return. ok I did not move, i waited for him.
pagbakabalik nya, bumulong sya sakin...
"Tara, wag tayo dito..gusto mong sumama sakin sa place ko..maraming nakatingin satin...."
I did not answer. i kissed him again. gave my no..
"....Im flattered by what your doing. i nid you to understand that im not yet ready for sex. not tonyt..i dont know when..just txt me ok?...I really have to go.."
sa taxi pauwi...naluha n naman ako habang binabasa ang mga txt ni Amante. mga saved messages sa inbox ko..i started to delete them one by one..hoping.
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
Drama queen ba ako? ahaha Edz called me the next night. we talked...and thats it.