Nov 2008

I miss lee.

Lee is special in my heart. I love him. We made a world only us exist. we both expressed so much intimacy and passion for each other. untill I almost noticed myself wanting for more. For him to be here as so i could have the chance to hold him, to kiss him in person. I miss Lee.

I used to have this blog. I soon noticed that theres this anonymous reader leaving comments on almost every entry. Later i realized, im having entry every entry intented for him, so i could again read what would his comment be, so we can exchange words once again. I miss Lee leaving comments on my blog.thou anonymous, i know its him.

Then I leave him my email add. we exchange emails almost evryday. expressing so much interest for each other, as this turns out that im later falling in love with him. I respect him much. so i give him my identity. atleast my picture so he knows what I look like. I thought that would stop him. I thought he would not like me. but i was wrong. Soon we continue to exchange love for each other, on how special he is on my heart. I miss Lee.

Untill such time that he stop sending letters. i dont know the reason why. maybe he find reasons why. Maybe he got tired of me. or maybe its so wrong to love some pathetic blogger on the other side of the world. maybe, someone else is making him smile..maybe somebodys loving him more than i could. someone who holds him tight, someone who kiss him passionately, someone, a very lucky soul who endure his unconditional love. If only Im dat someone. I miss lee so much.

Then, I meet Amante. we exchange love and life. were having a romantic relationship. untill such time that it no longer bothers me wether i receive an email from lee or not. Me and Amante also have each issues. to no avail, He has nothing to do with the feelings that i have for Lee. Lee is different. I can feel his love, as if its so real. Like everytime i have coffee, its as if the very same coffee that lee would make me each time i get out of bed. that everytime im cold at night alone in my bed, i would have my pillows to warm and comfort my lonely night, then ill think of lee. and im at peace once again, its like ill be waking up in the morning with Lee's arm around my body, that it would be his kiss in the morning that would brighten me up. Its as if its so real,i always stare at his pics before and after shift. I really miss Lee.

Then, last Monday, Nov 24. I receive a letter from Britain. Its a cxard actually. Its from Lee. and a picture of him. His cute gorgeous face, i was shocked. it was the biggest surprise that i have from him. This time, its a personalized card. a poem written for me. It was so sweet of him, im very much flattered i was in tears the night i sleep. i cant let go of what im feeling. I was so overwhelmed.

His card says:

Ernie

Ang pagibig ko sayo ay tunay.

The life that I have
is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours

The love that i have
or the life that I have
is your and yours
and yours

I will always love you

Lee x

Its christmas season again. I can only wish but for me to see him in person, for me to touch him. to feel his skin on my skin, to hug him, to let him know hes the best thing that love could ever offer me..because with him, I beleive in love again.

If only.....

Dis is my diary. my digital diary. Whatever I feel like writing, sinusulat ko, whatever i feel like saying, sinusulat ko. Diary ko ito. Diary na pwedeng basahin ng kahit na sino. However, its still my diary.

Nakilala na ng aking baby ang iba kong mga close friends. C Carlo and haya. Lumabas kaming apat last Sat night. nag malate kami.

its a night to remember.Bakit? kasi now lang ako naging proud ng sobra sa lover ko. and this time, no pretentions, no nonsense relationship. They gave me a two thumbs up for my choice. ahahhaa parang ngayon lang yata ako tumama sa mga nakarelasyon ko.

and now i can say..that..

the search is over, your with me all the while.

There's nothing more than a good hard pounding to get a guy up and ready for a long day's work! Haha or so they say...

My baby came over to my place for dinner. I cooked Adobo for him. Pork ang gusto niya, walang anghang dapat at wala rin dahon ng laurel.

To the rescue ang aking mga ofismate haha they understand it wud be my first time to cook adobo. Its JR's recipe thats saves d day.

it was his first time on my pad. It was my first time to serve my love with my personal cookings. haha im very glad he did like it.

After dinner was the best part. Oh my, when was the last time we make love? We hardly cant have enough of each other. Until its time for me to ready myself for work.

and before i forgot, he got his promotion. His new tittle, Business Development officer-Asia Pacific!!! Isnt that great?

I love you Bhe!

Dumating na si Amante ko dito sa manila last sunday from Iloilo. He told me to expect him at 6.45pm. He arrived at 7.30. I was worried. damn worried because the weather is not that good. inaatake na naman ako ng mga What if's. nakakatakot but I managed to stay Calm.

second tym kong pumunta sa Airport na iyon, and this time..its a different thing. i'm not leaving Manila because Hes the one whos coming. Ansaya lng sa pakiramdam when my phone rings, caller ID says "baby ko"..sa wakas nakalapag na rin sila.

Sinundo rin sya ng isa sa mga product manager nila na dito sa Manila naka base. Binigyan na agad ako ng instructions habang papalabas sya to be discreet daw. ok. no problem. papalabas na sya whid his luggages and ol, gusto ko man syang salubungin ng yakap, ipadama sa kanya na sobrang namiss ko siya..but then, hindi pwede. may lugar at oras for that.

sa kotse, from the airport hanggang sa townhouse..never na bumuka ang bibig ko. i was like the invisible among the visibles..(hehe ano yun)!!!hanggang sa makarating kami, hanggang sa maipasok na lahat ng bagahe nya, then eventually he turned on me, give his best smile. and yes for the first time i did felt i was now part of the scenario. saka niya ako niyaya na lumabas na as his friends are expecting him sa Sm North edsa. Akala ko masosolo ko na siya. hindi pa pala.I promised to treat him over dinner. Ok. Patience is a virtue.

Nasa Seattle's Best ang kanyang mga kababata. They were like friends since childhood or way back old school days. Ewan. In one way, nagselos ako kc sabi niya kelangan nya magpahinga later kc hes preparing for the big day daw by monday. I did insist or making parinig bago pa sya lumipad papunta dito sa manila. ok he got my message, at sinabing im giving him a lot of pressure. syempre ayokong ganun maramdaman nya. so ako na lang ang mag aadjust. i have nothing against it. kelangan ko siyang intindihin. mahal ko baby ko eh.

Dun na rin kami nag dinner. habang nagkukwentuhan, halos di mapaghiwalay ang aming mga kamay. For the first time ive noticed how intimate he was when holding my hands. wala syang pakialam kung sino ang makakita. so what if two bald men where holding hands sa coffee shop. at yung area namin eh malapit sa sakayan at babaan near d entrance sa supermarket. yes, dats were Seattles Best is located. wala nang pakialaman. what matters is were feeling each other, physically and emotionnaly.

almost 10pm na nang nagpahatid sya sa townhouse. dumerecho na rin ako sa pad ko after. i felt na kulang, but deep within me i was thrilled and again im overwhelmed with love. however, stupid of me i expect too much. only now i understand how this promotion means a lot to both of us. yes, hes bein trained for the promotion kaya siya nandito sa manila. our relationship is in perspective. im too damn lucky i have him.

tommorow were having our dinner. magluluto ako ng adobo for him. sana malaman nya na ngayon lang ako magluluto. that all my life, ang alam ko lang iluto ay itlog, longganisa, pritong isda ( most of the time sunog or di luto ) at maginit ng tubig. Since mahal ko ang babay ko, super effort ako sa pagtatanong kung papano mag adobo. sana magustuhan niya.

mahal na mahal ko ang aking baby. Hes every little thing i ever wanted. ang aga lang ng pasko at new year ko. Aga ng putukan. hehe

Shower scenes never fails to amaze me.

okay!! nanalo si Obama. go. sabi nila nanganganib daw karir ng mga kol centre agents dito sa pinas. ok!

at eto pa!!!

California had passed the propposition no. 8!

OuCH!!!

okay! so nanalo ang YES vote for Proposition No. 8 sa California. nakanang..eh ano nlng ba ang mga homosexuals ngayon? second class citizen? damn...napapamura naman daw talaga ako...!!!

No one, and no One has the right to dictate anyone about what is proper in love, sex and marriage per se. When did it become okay to legislate morality? and hu dictates morality?

i thought pa naman, when the State of california supreme court passed the Same sex marriage, kala ko ito na ang simula.

Hay.

I got this sa Perezhilton.com.. on the entry Melissa Ethridge Shouldn't have to pay Taxes.

----"Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.----

for more info visit www.perezhilton.com