Disabilities

sa fone ko. ang mga pics nmin ni amante ay nka save sa folder wer i named FINALLY....I BELEIVE!!!

Nsa jip kmi ni brian pauwi wen Amante says its over. Its something im prepared to....ready for the worst....and parang wala akong naramdamang pain. i swear..parang nabunutan pa nga ako ng tinik. maybe becoz umiyak nko, and i askd for the strength that i need. anyways yun...tahimik lang kami ni dodong, i need d silence best. i dont have to talk, i dont have to say anything to justify my feelings at that very momment..basta kelangan ko lang ng katahimikan.

"its official, ala n kmi ni amante..."

i send dis txt to close friends..plain and simpple. yun lang...may mga nagreply to give me comfort and all...but all i need is silence. feeling ko namatayan ako ng isa sa importanteng bahagi ng aking pagkatao. and i have to endure it in silence, however, im too brave and nagdunonong dunongan n naman ako, or yet insensitive..in short, manhid.

as i write this entry, i can say that im a different person now. im sick and tired of the drama...ayoko ko din umiyak uli. i dont deserve to suffer, i honestly dont think i wud endure great pain or somethiing...kumbaga, im not that affected at all. di tulad nung naghiwalay kami ni leo, parang nasira ang mundo ko dat tym. nawala ako sa focus and all, pero ngayon, i dnt think so.

sa ngayon, single nko uli...and im gonna be very busy for the next days to come on losing weight and achieving the body i deserve. and i know it cud change d perspective on how i do my lifestyle here. ....yup, first project ko ang pagbabalik ko s gym. next is im gonna party and cruise hahaha im single anyway...i even stop wearing the ring amante gave me.

hmmmmmmm Sahid?

Its ash wednesday. I went on with my regular mass/ prayer meeting activity at megamall.something that Im used to do now. however, this wednesday mass is something rather special for some reasons.

Its ash wednesday. start na ng cuaresma. ok. ngayon ko lamang naisipan na kelangan pala mag Ayuno. pero kaninang lunh break sa pantry, para akong baboy na kumakain ng ulam mula kay ate kye, tetet and dodong..not to mention ung baon ko. pero technically, i was able to observed faSTing and abstinence. kc ung lunch eh thursday na ng madaling araw, alas dos actually. hehe

"Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there "

Eto pa, sobrang bigat tlga ng dibdib ko and all. like kelangan na nitong sumabog. pero, sa simbahan lang din ako naiyak. ayaw kong makita nila akong umiiyak.(eeiiwww nkakahiya LOL)..basta ang alam ko, after ako lagyan ng krus sa noo eh madami pang tao n nakapila and nagsisiksikan.i closed my eyes, say a little prayer, and yun na, naiyak nko ng bonggang bonga. and heck humagulhol tlga ako, my head covered by my hanky, trying hard not to create that obvious sound, or make me an attention seeker. i cried, asking Him this same thing, my Partner, my love, my Amante.

" I've been around enough to know
That dreams don't turn to gold
And that there is no easy way
No you just can't run away..."

lumabas ako ng simbahan, carlo is waiting for me. may usapan na kami na magkita after d mass. matagal na din kami di nagkita, nagkausap. at nakakahiya kasi magang maga ang mata ko, watery pa nga eh. cry baby tlga ako. pag ako umiyak, i get too emotional. umiyak lamang ako ng bongga sa simbahan.

Sa podium n kami nkapag usap ni Carlo. I told him everything. nkakagaan ng loob. he listened and gave his point of view, more of his advice. bago kami naghiwalay i was assured na Im rerady for anything worst. anyway, im a strong person. im beautiful inside and out haha.

"
One of these nights
We'll I'll hear your voice again
Your gonna say
How much u miss me
You'll walk out this door
But someday you'll walk back in
Darling I know I know this will be"

pero mahal ko tlaga si Amante. pag naka move on nako at bumalik sya, i swear..gudbye means gudbye...hello and gubye will be said in one sentence!!!!