Philippines

the feeling of someone saying i love you to me is awesome...something na tipong words could actually delimits what your tryin to say..but then everytime he calls, at the end of every conversation..we manage to exchange our I Love you.

then.....

namimiss ko na ang aking mga magulang. siguro naman ok sila kahit on medication pa rin si papa. sila kaya ni mama, nag i love you pa kaya sila ni papa? nagkikiss pa din kaya sila bago matulog? sa umaga pagkagising? or malambing pa din kaya sila tulad nung mga dalaga pa lamang sila at magkasintahan pa lang sila.....? andaming kong tanong ngayon.....

and den, i realize..ano ba ang pakialam ko eh buhay nila yan.

minsan i wonder, does time also travell by itself..? or does it simply submitt itself to what humans do.? or maybe as time goes by....so as change is.

matagal ko nang pangarap magka billboard ng sarilil ko. something to be proud of. but then, due to some restrictions hehe hindi pa napapanahon. maybe in the near future siguro. but the power of computer.. the internet in particular had this dream a realilty. haha

eto cguro ay matatawag na aparisyon. hahaha

bka iwanan ako ng mahal ko sa pinaggagagawa kong ito.

4pm knina ay ang sked ko for my dentist. excited ako kc at last ay mabubunot na rin itong ngipin ko. these past few days kc di na maganda ang pakiramdam ng may sirang ngipin.

eksatong 4pm ay nsa strata nko sa clinic ni Dr. De leon. i wasnt prepared for what will happen next. nung nagpalinis ksi ako sa dental city sa Megamall, bago natapos ang session namin ni Doc, she succedded in making me feel like im this irresponsible human creature who never takes good care of his teeth. pero kay Doctor de leon, so far, magaan ang simula. tinuro ko ang gusto kong ipabunot and all at wala akong narinig ng kung ano anong tsetsebureche.

tinusok ang anesthsia, sabi shit ito na......at ang sumunod ay ang pahirapang pagbunot ni doc ng mga ipin ko. apat na ngipin ang binunot sa kin. at kasumpa sumpa tlga ang magkaroon ng sirang ngipin. at tatlong beses inulit ang pagtusok ng anesthesia sakin...maluha luha akong nagtitiis ng sakit..makaraos lang na matanmggal ang mga ngipin na ito.

6.30 almost na ng matapos ako. pawisan si doktora sakin. for sure meron syang ginawang surgery sa gums ko. paglabas ko ay dumerecho ako sa mcdonalds hindi para kumain kundi para icompose ang sarili ko. kasi parang naiiyak pa din ako tuwing naiisip ko yung sakit sa pagbunot ng ipin ko.

somehow, naisip ko, parang tama ang Doctora na yun sa dental city, coz i feel like shit for not taking good care of my teeth.

but then its over now. sa ngayon ay nagpapagaling na lang ako.

October 3 to 6 sana ang sked ko ng pagpunta ng Ilo ilo, but then Amante is not available by October 3. may prior commitment daw sya. corporate affairs. He asked me to move my schedule n the next fri. i have no problem with that. its just that i cant wait to be with him na.

we frequently talk to each other. always keeping in touch. making sure that things are just fine with him. he sometimes call while driving. he knows i hate it. sometimes he would deny that hes driving but then i have ways of knowing. haha I guess i just know him well now.

Cebu pacific has its ongoing promo. i asked Amante if the fare matrix is ok. its already cheap, actually. very worth it. theres only one problem now. i dont have the cash yet. but i can always find ways.

there are a lot of things to consider on this trip. me bein adventorous can always relate and fit in myself. more of a survivor. maximizing kng ano lang ang meron at gagawin ang nararapat makaraos lamang.

wala akong masyado matanungan kng ano ang pwede at mga dpat kng ihanda. since ayoko munang ikwento sa aking mga friendship dhil it might give them wrong impressions. or basta...nag iingat lamang ako for Amante.

hindi ko pa din natatanong kay amante kung ano ba pwede namin gawin dun. over weekend naman sya eh,madami na sinabi si Amante, like we can go to Bacolod, we can go to Boracay or watever...but then, mas preferred ko kahit ano lang, pwede naman na sa bahay nlng kami.
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isa pa pla yung problema. nakatira si amante sa staff house nila. Regional officer sya ng pharma company, hawak nya maraming areas. pero nakatira sya now sa staff house nila. but hes already doing something about this. like hes requested already for a housing allowance so he could move out sa staff house nila. kya cguro pagpunta ko dun sana eh may bahay na sya.

is it a prerequisite ba?n dapat may bahay na sya? i dont know basta ang alam ko kelangan ko syang makasama uli kasi hes special. i wanna prove to him that i could love him more that what he is expecting. that its worth everything basta magkasama kami.

so basta dpat maayos kng ano pwede naming gawin pra alam ko din kng ano ang dadalhin ko.

ill just cross the bridge when i get there. as of now,. isa lang ang alam ko. eveything happens for a reason. kung ano man ang reason kng bakit ko sya nakilala, or what have we to share, it doesnt matter na. the langguage of love is spoken by heart. echuserang frog.

sunday morning ....i woke up wid amante beside me. his arms wrapped and his legs on mine making him my human blanket. thou this hang over is making its way to penetrate me, the feeling is wonderful to wake up that morning wid someone kissing you.

then, realized that he is leaving for Ilo Ilo at 3.30pm. and i offered na ako na rin ang maghatid sa kanya sa airport.

and he kissed me. enough to say his appreciation.

hes just another gorgeous face in the crowd. hes wearing a cap. maulan kc sa labas. i take my chances at ngumiti sa kanya. a welcome smile haha or paglalandi or i guess lasing lng cguro ako.... and ngumiti nman sya, just before he leave me wanting for more.

the night is getting deeper and im beggining to get bored. i decided to take one last bottle of beer and call it a night. then i feel his presence...and slowly our bodies become one. oo, parang yung kantang crazy for you.hehe

"somebody got lucky tonight at ako yun.."

then we talk. we got to know each other.di lang puro sex ang nangyayari dat night. we talk and we talk. taking chances.slowly we begin to know the character of each other....and he offered to take me home.

i said no, i better not go home wid him kc bisita lang din xa. nakakahiya sa kababata nya. nakikituloy xa for the mean time sa kababata nya. ok fine. sa dinami dami nyang sinabi, mga promising lines...mga mabubulaklak n salita..i dared him to say those things in the morning or soon after n pagkagising nya. ill do mine as well.

sabay kmi umuwi, ako, sya at ang kanyang kababata.kumain muna kami sa ministop sa kanto. we decided to see each other again the next day. ill give him a visit instead of goin home with him....fair deal hehe and then he lay down his card.

"visit me in Ilo Ilo next month, and youll have me. ill have commitment wid you and its more than enough to be serious wid you..i know your worth keeping."

and out of the blue..bwakanang walang isip isip. sumagot agad ako ng "OO ill be there to be with you.."

he hold my hand. pinisil nya ito, he cant let go of his smile, i guess di nya ineexpect ang sagot ko..and i guess the feeling is mutual.hehe

4pm nko nagising. i txted him ryt away and pumunta nga ako sa Caloocan..another trip, another chance, suntok sa buwan.

he introduced me to his childhood friends. we had dinner wid dem. tpos naginuman. hanggang sa may dumating pa uling kaibigan. he keep on asking me how do i find them? theyre just fine i said..im hre to see you, not to be with them.

and we kissed. feeling each others lips, the tenderness and warmth of his hug. making the most of each momment.

and again, he asked me to spend the night there. wag n daw ako umuwi. sure naman..madami na rin ako nainom.but i assure him n kaya ko pang sumakay ng taxi. then he insist on me staying......hayup!
syet lang tlga..haha how flattering..in full honesty hes special na.

and at dat sunday morning, heaven ang pakiramdam. khit puyat, khit pagod, khit nahihilo ng konti dhil sa hang over..it does feel wonderful. it really feels great to have someone.

ako nga ang naghatid sa kanya sa airport. sa taxi, ay halos hindi ko mabitawan ang kanyang kamay. yes ill miss him now. im not expecting to feel this way..i told myself im not ready yet, but who am i kidding? i know its a lie. this isnt my escape for the bad break up with leo. its time to move on and i just did. the situation is similar. only this time medyo malayo. however, what is at stake is very much different., thou dis time, i have to be so sure that its love now im playing into.

another trip, another chance of falling in love...and im halfway of getting there!!!

cebu pacific has their ongoing promo for domestic flights. im planning to see him by october 3...as promised.i miss him so much i only have his pictures.

at kelangan ko ng magpapayat for him. damn i hate my bilbil.para nkng c pig sa bilbil ko.