UmBre

not anymore

your smile
your presence
your strong manly character
almost an epitome of my dying soul

i made it to like you
i made myself beleive
that i could care much if you only wanted
a blast of what seems to being there

an essence of almost loving
a quarter more for wanting yours next to mine
making my longings satisfied
oh yes i m indeed falling for you

then my phone rings
my better half is on the other line
his voice a realization of a total me flirt
i cannot make myself crave for more from you

not anymore
im sorry im committed
not anymore i have to stop
i chose not to break somebodys heart

come on and lets take a bow

if theres one thing i would regret if ever your name come across my messed up brain, its when you somehow occupied my longings. its when i start to appreciate this friendship, making the foolish me want you...and i was like caring for you the other way no one would dare.

and you asked me if i like you. i said yes.

i do have a boyfriend. i love him much than i did for you. our love is a celebration of life.

but we are far from each other. somehow, my heart longs for some1 who is always there. whom i always see. ..unfortunately, its not my boyfriend but it was you.

and we talked about this. and i settled my part, i am in sound mind. i know were to put my self. i dont expect from you. i never did assume anything. i simply practice the honesty to oneself. that i must not keep myself from caring for you from afar..

afar thou your so near.

or maybe i guess, i cared too much, i flirted too much, i almost love you.

and as i chose to leave all these behind, i found some place in my heart thats aching. i only wish i have d guts to walk away and forget about what we had..but i just cant..but i i know i have to, and im pushing all my nerve to do dis...and when i do, he wont come after me..

and i guess thats what hurts the most.

i never thought caring and liking for someone be this painful.

i made my choice. i made up my mind. should you act like i dont exist anymore, so be it. that would be better. that would be fine. sahid that would be fine.

anyways, my heart belongs to Amante.

here are some of the souvenir shots taken by my ofismates who happen to be in that seminar as well.

yan kami. cna mami melai, suzzette, yang, neil grace, laarnie, lovely, carlo and me.

life in the spirit seminar.
oct 18-19, 2008, Meralco theater
St. therese de Avila class

Mel sponsored me to attend on this event. i thought it was just a retreat like dat way back Ateneo days. hindi pala. again and again...it was avery fulfilling experience. its worth everything..i mean EVERYTHING.

fri night ay pumasok pa kami ni Carlo. ang Labas namin ay 8am. saturday 8.30am ang simula ng Life in the Spirit Seminar. it ends at almost 6pm. then the next day, sunday Oct 19 8.30 again to again 7pm.

grabe, halos makatulog na ako in between those lively humurous talks from the empowered speakers. a trully blessed person there is. a gift shud i say.

nung second day na, di na nakarating si carlo. later na rin ako pero hmabol pa din.

salamat sa mga taong nagdala sakin sa LSS. slamat sa Rivers of the living water. salamat sa lahat.

salamat sa mahal na Panginoong Diyos.

There is only one happiness in life -- to love and to be loved.

around 6.30pm October 14, 2008 nakalapag ng matino ang eroplanong sinasakyan ko sa Pandaigdigang Paliparan ng Ninoy Aquino, manila. hehe galing ako ng Iloilo. its my first trip out of town. Im alone on this trip. Alone and the only reason why im goin to Iloilo is because i wanna experience LOve. korni ko lang ano?

excited ako sa travel kong ito. mahahalata mo nman cguro dahil super kuha ako ng picture to something basta nakukuha ang interest ko.

ito nga pla ang aking plane ticket.

bago ako umakyat ng eroplano

Wilma doesnt was also at the Airport.

di naman cguro halatang take advantage ako sa location ko

Oct 10, friday cebu pacific flight 5J 459, terminal 3 NAIA bound for Iloilo. nakarating ako dun around 8.30. delayed ang flight. as expected daw wid the kind of weather dat day. Amante was there waiting for me sa arrival area..oh my, i missed him so much..sa kotse on the road, hindi ko magawang alisin ang aking kamay sa kanya. kissing him from time to time. feeling his presence.....cant beleive im right beside him.

dat night we had dinner on this resto sa dalampasigan. sa baybayin mismo sya, the resto is made of bamboo, na kung dumungaw ka, makikita mo ang alon mismo and youll realize nsa dagat kna pala. it was a romantic evening. he ordered seafoods for both of us. talaba and inihaw na pusit. naparami yata ang kain ko ng talaba kasi ansarap sobra. or maybe im just too overwhelmed kasama ko ang mahal ko. honestly it was our first dinner together.first dinner namin sa labas.

halos lahat ng importante sa buhay nya sa iloilo ay pinakilala nya ako. giving me a taste of what his friends are.i beleive one reason kng bakit, ay kung magugustuhan ba nila ako. sa tingin ko naman, nagustuhan nila ako, i behaved myself eh. haha

our first night together in Iloilo

ung isa nga convinced me pa na dun nlng mag work sa call centre. meron din naman daw tele tech dun among those call center institutions na lumalago dun. gusto kong isipin na gusto nya akong mag stay dun wid him for the longest time possible. kaso ayoko munang isipin na ganun. mahirap na, saka na siguro kung yayain na nya ako mismo. i would say yes. i will say yes.

nag side trip kami sa bacolod. first time ko din sa lugar, may Masskara festival dun.sa santimbuco hotel kami naka chek in. ok ang city, tahimik masyado. the trafic was moderate. friendly naman ang mga tao. and not to mention..ang kalinisan ng kanilang lugar.

one day lang kami sa bacolod. 6am tuesday ay nsa ferry na uli kami pabalik sa iloilo.may mga bisita sya ng mga trainors from manila, bein the regional director of the company hes working, he cant miss ofis that day so i opted to stay sa bahay nya para makabawi ng tulog. 5pm ang flight ko pabalik ng manila, sme airline. cebu pacific. sinundo nya ako ng kotse nya sa bahay 3.30pm at dumerecho na kami sa airport.

sa buong stay ko sa iloilo, yun ang pinaka malungkot sa lahat. he was driving his car, me on his side. were heading to the airport that means magkakahiwalay na naman uli kami....

cebu pacific flight 5J 458, october 13, 2008. around 6.50pm nkalapag na uli ang eroplanong sinasakyan ko sa NAIA airport. from airport dumerecho muna ako sa mega Mall to eat some dinner. then derecho sa ofis.