A Travellerspoint blog

face your fear

my first Iloilo trip

overcast 23 °C


mamaya na ang alis ko. 6pm ang flight kko to Iloilo.at last magkikita na kami uli ng mahal kong si Amante.


mixed emotion naman daw ako.di ako makatulog knina ng matino. excited ako. natatakot din ako. papano kung may masamang mangyari. papano kung di ko magustuhan ang makikita ko pagdating doon.papano kung di nya talaga ako mahal.?

papano kung si Leo ay bumalik. ? pakshet lang cguro talaga ako.


or papano kung si #$%@ talaga ang mahal ko. hahaha
praning na siguro ko.

Posted by umbre 03:30 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (2)

global famous

celebrity duets and i give him what he wants

storm 9 °C

this weekend was a surprise for me. andaming nangyari and it was such a storm. too good to be true, i cant beleive nalampasan ko ito.

this time naman para maiba eh problema naman sa pamilya ang issue. haha the usual kasi puro na lang sama ng loob sa pag ibig, or depression dahil sa love life. however, ang issue namang ito eh hindi na bago sa akin. pero this time, i faced this thing na may essence ng pagiging open minded at maturity.and nasolve ang problema ng walang masyadong aberya.

ang tanong, nasolve na nga ba?

saturday morning, masama na ang pakiramdam ng aking katawang lupa. kulang na kulang ako sa tulog. Friday morning kasi naidlip lang kami ni Carlo sa sleeping quarters tpos around 1pm eh gising na kami. inasikaso ko ang aking mga commitment. nakapag deposit ako sa BPI at Chinabank respectively to pay my respective accounts payables. after then, sinamahan ko si carlo sa Eastwest. mag CA daw sya. pumila kami ng matiwasay, haha and all the while waiting for our numbers eh pwede naman pla syang dumerecho na sa availble clerk. and di naman sya na grant kasi walang valid id ang palaka. Badtrip kya naisipang mag shopping.

sa robinson nilibot namin ang buong mall looking for something interesting for us to purchase. i ended up with a flip flops from People are people while he got his Bulgari perfume.

nagkahiwalay kami around 7pm na. ang pasok namin dat night is 10pm. madadagdagan na naman ng tatlong kilong eye bags ang mukha ko. sabi ko sige na, anyways last day of dialling na naman.

saturday morning, 9am pa lang eh natutulog nako. i was hoping for a complete rest. kahit 8 hrs man lang sana ng walang aberya eh sasaya na ako. kaso 4pm pa lang nakaramdam nko ng gutom. nakakatamad talagang bumangon. kaya i tried to catch more sleep again.

nagising ako uli arond 7pm. tamang tama para makapanood ako ng isang buong episode ng celebrity duets.

from the start hanggang sa ending, im all smiles. haha parang OMG what are they thinking...why are they there? and is this a singing contest or a custome show or a circus or what? ahaha too bad top 5 na lang ang natitira. hres what i can say based on my first impression for each contestant.


Joey marquez - i love the song you sung. Father and Son is one of my favorite. and choosing Aiza seguerra to sing with is more of a statement. what i saw was a Joey Marquez hopeful, not the politician, not the host/comedian actor but the simple contestant giving his all to win the respect of the judges as the txt voters as well.

Carlene Aguilar - i thought shes a trying hard brat who uses her charm to win the competition, but hey, shes indeed good with her performance. haha natuwa ako sa kanya, ang ganda ganda nya. para siyang Maria Clarang napanood si madonna sa TV at pagkauwi ay ginaya ito para kay Ibarra. Very filipina indeed yet so gorgeous. she somehow justifies he performance. add to that was Katrina Halili who makes it like a showdown of beauty and grace. never mind the voice, they both can carry a note.

JC Buendia - ang ganda ng number mo.ang ganda ng japanese costume, ang ganda rin ng sayaw, ang ganda ng pagkakakanta mo, masaya ring kaduet si Allan K. pero parang naagaw yata ni Allan k ang limelight. hehe i know you can do better than that.

Bayani BF Fernando - sandali, i thought CELEBRITY duets ito? hehe i can see you like a rose among the thorns, or the thorns among the roses..your personality stands out. i can see my uncle in you when you sing. however, this is a competition. somehow i feel like your using the show to improve your popularity as 2010 elections is near.

Phil Younghusband - whats up dude? admit it your gay.. your performance was a disappointment to me. come on dude you can do better than that. at least carry a note, or give acknowledgement to Ms Eula Valdes. and with Ogie Alcasid having your shot for the judges as if hes a gay brat whos in love with you..its a statement that your sissy as well. and when you jump after receiving a good remark..dude thats very gay. anyway your sexuality is not my business. i wish you luck. your already a winner and your so hot.

at natapos ang celebrity duets na nakangiti ako. somehow nabawasan yung bigat ng dibdib ko, at gutom na ako at walang gagalaw para sakin kundi ako lang.

after kung kumain nakatulog ako uli. 3am na naman ako nagising. gusto ko sanang manood ng dvd pero tlagang gusto kong matulog.

sunday, sa pad ni harry ako nag lunch. after namin kumain eh nag dvd marathon kami kunwari. di pa halos vtapos ang isang movie eh tulog na namn ako.

4pm umuwi nko ksi darating ang aking kapatid para sa pera nya. humihingi ng allowance dahil walng wala na daw sya. ok no problem.

daot pa rin sa pakiramdam. feeling ko tuloy ansama sama kong tao.nagsimba ako sa shrine. i was expecting na late na ko for the masspagdating ko doon i hve the impression na di pa nagsisimulaang mass.yun pala eh final blessing na.

dumerecho ako ng makati. nakipag kita ako kay Eric and Ate fong. nagtagay kami ng konti, ng malasing na si eric eh hinatid na namin si ate fong. at natikman ni eric ang isang bagay na alam kong matagal na niyang inaasam.i hope he enjoyed it.or atleast manage to like it.

monday 7am ng ako ay nakauwi.

Posted by umbre 03:56 Archived in Philippines Tagged living_abroad Comments (0)

he loves me

i experienced titanic

sunny 21 °C

Titanic is one of my favorite movie. Di sya nakakasawang ulit uliting panoorin.

i used to have a blog sa blogspot.com. but i chose to delete it. i felt pathetic kasi everytime im updating it. what was there was the side of me na ung tipong di mo kakayaning balikan uli. or mga entries na sobrang bigat basahin minsan you just want to delete every entry of it. and i did.

on that blog i was able to meet lee. a very very good soul. i am inlove with him. we share a world were in super pagmamahal namin sa isat isa ang namamayani. the love im feeling for him is superb. but heres the catch, He is in Europe. Hes a british and we communicate only thru the net. one of the wonders of the world wide web. making the world at the end of my fingertips.

favorite movie ko ang titanic. one of the best. and this morning as i checked my Gmail. i was in for a surprise.

his email was titled Titanic Love.

Hello Ernie,

I hope you slept well on Sunday, i thought about you sleeping safely under a blanket of love.

My friend came to stay with me on Friday for three days. We take it in turns at looking after each other. I made him a French meal on Friday. He said he liked it...not sure that he did.

I get the ideas from my French friends mother when i visit him at his mothers home in France, shes a good cook and is always very kind to me.

We also went to the cinema to see "Taken" it's a fast moving action thriller, I'd recommend it Ernie.


I have an old DVD of the film "Titanic" it's a good film based on a true story of an unsinkable ship on its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York 1912...if you haven't seen it you can probably guess the rest. Anyway, we watched this film over the weekend and i thought of you and i stood at the very front of this ship with the wind blowing through our hair. Of course i wouldn't let anything happen to you and i would keep you safe always.

The theme music from the "Titanic" is for you Ernie, i hope you like it.


Your words in your last email are so very beautifully written and so lovely to read that i hardly know how to respond. We do have a deep love for each other...its difficult to understand how or why. May be there was just something in our two hearts that reached out to each other.


Thanks for the homework. I had to search the dictionary for quite some time to try and translate what you had written. I think you said "you love me" however, there are a number of alternative meanings in your language, its not always straight forward. I love you too; and i thought of you even though i was with my friend. Actually i imagined it was you sitting next to me in the cinema...just don't tell my friend OK.

Did you have a good weekend at work and achieve your sales target? I would think there must be a lot of pressure on you to achieve your goals each week. I have faith in you Ernie.

Hope you you like the film clip and the theme music. that's you and i at the front of the ship. Just close your eyes and imagine Ernie...its so easy.

Have a wonderful week and take care, you are always in my thoughts

All my love Lee

Posted by umbre 12:40 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

im trying to make things go smoothly

i was nice. i was feeling empty

rain 14 °C

im trying to nice. i had tried. yes and i guess i was really nice to the last minute i was there.


first working day of the month EST. walang dialling ang mga market ng Accent Energy. right after the shift dumerecho kami sa pad ni harry for some quality time, bonding, para makapag relax. inshort INUMAN.

si jay r ang chef. haha sarap nyang magluto. kasama nya akong namalengke. kahit umuulan at putikan sa palengke, ok lang. isang buong manok at bangus ang pinamili namin. wid all the gulay at sahog, nakapamalengke kami ng maayos.nagluto kami ng tinola for lunch. kalahati lng ng buong manok niluto namin, ung iba ay minarinade. hanggang sa ang naluto namin lahat lahat ay tinola, fried chicken, hotdog, rellenong bangos, spaghetti, cake, french fries at ewan ko pa kng may naluto pa bang iba.

si sam ang tangero ng unang round. generoso ang ininom namin ng hapon. walang dating kahit naka ubos kami ng dalawang long neck. dala siguro ng pagod kaya kami medyo nabangag. but all in all ay walang dating ang generoso. kasi ng mag luto pa kami ay parang di kami uminom sa kulitan.

after lunch, ako ang naghugas. yun lang. ako a ng nagpapanatiling malinis ang lababo. kasi nakakahiya at sa lahat na nakakahiya ay yung pabisita epek ka. di ako ganun.

dumating sina Janis at Jason. mukhang ok naman ang dalawa. lumipat na daw ng bagong bahay si jason. si Janis itong super nagkukwento sa bagong bahay. plus the rent and how much it is. di ako nagtatanong. im simply there helping somebody do the kitchen stuff. 4 thousand daw mahigit ang upa. i asked jason kung saan na sya nagwowork. magaaply pa lang daw sya. so wala siyang income. i asked janis kung nagsasama na sila. di pa naman daw. makes me think kaya nangutang si janis kay Carlo ng pera bfore sila umalis is si janis ang nagastos ng lahat. for jason. so what? its none of my business. anyway i dont give a damn.

so far, so good. i was nice. i did nice things. my inside was screaming. but i remaind silent. i know if i stay there a little while more, something wrong could happen. i might explode that could create embarrasment to one poor soul.

so i made my exit around quarter to 11pm. sam asked me na samahan ko daw siya sa sakayan. ok sinamahan ko siya hanggang sa cubao at pumun
ta ako ng farenheit. ewan ko. siguro its time i made my exit, or better attend to my own personal needs. i choose the last option and i ended up disappointed.

after i explode on somebodys mouth sa sauna, and after two strangers take their time on my body..umuwi na ako.i feel empty that night.

at umuwi na ako. i was nice.

Posted by umbre 03:07 Archived in Philippines Tagged gay_travel Comments (0)

sometimes.some hearts just wont quit

looking back

storm 12 °C

i miss him. but theres no comin back.


ive been throu a lot already. i did have enough share of pain, heartache and emptiness. but then, wes imply go on staying there, hoping for the change to come. hoping that yes, my love would lead him back to were we was before. and you bet..the feeling is damn all pain. and its excruciatingly damn hell i almost lost my job.

but a strong person that im always is, i know how to get over. at least only for a momment. and the next minute, its just still there, not even wanting to leave you, consuming your sound mind like that of a cigarrete eager to waste you at any time. heartache and being broken, or the loss of someone you greatly love is one of the hardest battle i had endured.

oh yes, i did love leo much more than he knew. but then again, the battle of surviving his loss was worth everything. because from now on, hes only someone that i used to love.

looking back to the days when you cant grip of your self, all too empty to make the right decision was like being born again. somehow i can see now this very momment that leo did just what is good for me. cool winds doenst make a fine sailor thou.


im stronger now. im not the foolish, submissive easy-go-lucky-i-love-you-person that would easily get too fast into love. I had loved him. it was indeed a beautiful love story for us. and then, after atleast 9 months, he choose to leave it all behind.

so i got no choice but to move on. and you bet its not that easy. it could have been easy thou. but then again...the love was genuine. too unconditional i was blinded. i always lok forward to that morning when my first thought would be not him. then i realize that i had already let him go as well.that may not be the first sunrise but i will go thru dat day knowing that my days wud be better.

and on that sunrise, Amante found me. theres so much promise to wait. and im ready to take i bite. and i am indeed.

Posted by umbre 04:16 Archived in Philippines Tagged cruises Comments (0)

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